How to Become Who You Want to Be

At the same time, who you are today will determine who you are in the future. The way you live your life today determines the quality and experience of your life tomorrow.

As independent, self-oriented men, we get to decide who we want to be, every single day. And who we are is a function of what we do, so whether we are consciously trying or not, we are always crafting our future self.

Every day we make choices — some big, some small. Those choices add up to who we are today, and who we will likely be tomorrow. Whether it’s what you’re having for lunch or what you say to a frustrating colleague, you have (literally) hundreds of chances every day to define who you are.

Without that conscious direction, your identity is left to forces, patterns and stimuli beyond your control. The job you stumbled into, the personal history of loss or disappointment, even the apartment or the neighborhood or the movies you watch — these will all, by default, determine who you are, if you don’t consciously decide to choose them for yourself.

The phenomenon of waking up one day to discover that you’re living a life you don’t truly love is a real one. It happens when you don’t actively decide who you want to be. Without a captain at the wheel, a ship will just capitulate to the sea. So will your life. If you want to become a better person, a more fulfilled person, you need to take action.

The “trick,” if we can call it that, is to be aware of every choice you make, and use it to build yourself into the person you want to become. Because some of our decisions can move us toward who we want to be, while other decisions can move us away from that person. The good news is, when you view every decision as a building block, you know the next decision about who you want to be is just around the corner. We are creating ourselves at every step.

If you are not satisfied with the self you have, change it.

  • Choose the self you want to be
  • Choose the self that matches your ideal.
  • Choose the self that is achievable.

Take a good look at yourself.

  • Be as objective as possible.
  • Be fair to yourself.
  • Be level-headed and unemotional.
  • Decide what you want to keep in your present self or personality.
  • Decide what you want to eliminate.
  • Decide what you will need to add.

Always keep in mind the ultimate self you want to become.

You may find it helpful to write these things down on paper. Make three columns headed keep, Eliminate  and Add. These will form the basis of the change program that will result in your  new self.

Finally, visualize yourself as the person you want to be.

See yourself becoming that person.

Arpita Patel


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